I've got friends in all the right places

I wish you were more accesible.
I wish I was more helpful.
I wish we weren't strangers.
I wish our relationship hadn't deteriorated.

I wish you were more responsible.
I wish I was more understanding.
I wish we work things out.
I wish our morals were the same.

I wish you took action of what you needed to do.
I wish I didn't have to tip toe around the subject.
I wish we could get along.
I wish our conversations weren't empty.

I wish you weren't an alcoholic.
I wish I was perfect, like you want.
I wish we were mother and daughter.
I wish our family was a family.




I guess I can't have everything though, right ?

You gotta shake it out, shake it out

I was lying in bed, reading through my tweets when I thought of something. Actually, I heard someone snoring. It reminded me of the subject though.

Who the fuck keeps drinking after they've been told they've a got weak liver and kidneys. Who the FUCK keeps doing that. Really. Someone who obviously wants to die.

I'm just so...god. I'm just so fucking fed up with you. You're fucking digging yourself into a hole. You look like shit. Yeah, you're losing weight because you're fucking deteriorating. GOD. Can't you see that? Who the hell cares if you're losing weight, anyways. Apparently guys only like you for one reason. That one reason you always tell me guys like ugly girls for. The one reason guys only talk or go out with girls for. Well guess what, you're not any better than any of the girls I come home complaining about.

God damnit. What kind of mother are you, anyways? Aren't you suppose to be worrying about what your daughter's doing alone at home on a friday night instead of drinking yourself to sleep and flirting with any guy who looks at you? Can't you muster up enough emotion for someone OTHER than yourself to care about anything BUT my grades? That might as well be the one motherly thing you still do. Of course, it's the thing I most hate.

I'm so tired of this. I'm so DONE with this. I finally fucking got to the route of all your so-called "friends". I finally got to the route of your inability to look some what healthy lately. I finally got to the route of why I can't talk to you anymore. You're damn right when you say I don't act like I love you. How the hell am I suppose to, anyways? I don't know you, you don't know me.

So, fuck you. You're doing this all to yourself. If you die of liver or kidney failure, I fucking warned you. I fucking warned you every day for 5 years. So you just keep taking your pills, you just keep drinking your $5 wine. You're only hurting the ones you love more and more. I hope you realize that someday. I fucking hope you realize that.





ps. sorry about all of the unkind words. I'm just not a very happy camper right now. T___T

I tried to be the one you needed

Let's all close our eyes when reality rears it's ugly face, and pretend we're still living in a beautiful world ! Let's pretend there's no problems in the world, and go spend the endless supply of money we have ! Let's go skip school, because hell, we don't need school ! Let's go make careers in paths that make no money what so ever, and have it support us and a family of three ! Let's go drink ourselves into oblivion every night because it's fun and it makes all of our mediocre problems go away !

C'mon, it'll be fun ! We can live life the way we think it's "suppose" to be lived, not how it's going to be lived !

Call 911, I'm already dead, but someone should be caught and held responsible

for this bloody mess.

Today Rice Owl and Carnation had a little arguement.

It started when the Rice owl found Carnation chillin' in his shirt.He confronted Carnation about it, reminding him how much he disliked when people borrowed his things without asking. Carnation then told the Rice Owl that he enjoyed wearing the shirt, and didn't intend to give it back. The Rice Owl didn't appreciate this very much.

The Rice Owl jumped on Carnation, and wrestled him to the death for his shirt!

The Rice Owl won, and happily got his shirt back on.

He wants me to remind everyone of one little thing. Don't mess with the Rice Owl.

I only have one thing to say.

I've decided I'm going to marry Nic Newsham.






Yeppp.
hahahahahaha

I hope things don't change.

I hope I don't get pushed to the side like I have been with everyone else. I'm probably just over reacting though. You're better than that; you're better than them. At least I think you are.

I haven't posted a blog in awhile,

maybe because life hasn't really been going awfully. It's actually been going pretty great. I'm fairly happy right now.










Actually, I'm ecstatic right now. I finally got what I wanted. Maybe it took 6 months, but I fucking got it, and I'm so happy.

:) I hope you guys are doing as well as me !