i wonder what it would be like to die. i imagine running into a tree at 70 mph. i think about accidentally going under water for too long. i envision myself running off a cliff, flying for a few seconds.
it sounds cynical, but it’s not. i’ve got no purpose for wanting to commit suicide, therefore i never would. i just think about it sometimes, and i think about how it would affect the people around me, how the people who were mean to me would react, how weird life would be for some without me. sometimes it helps to think about that. sometimes it just makes me upset to know that it’d be forgotten in a year.
life is never satisfying, is it?
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