Bring back love

Sometimes I forget how tightly wound the Leachmans really are. Sometimes I forget how much stuff about the family there is that I don't know. Sometimes I forget how loving every single member of the family is.

I love my family, I really do. I don't know where I would be without them. I always think I'm such a loner, I'm so lost, when I'm really not. I've got 7 people standing on the other side of the bridge with lanters, waititng to lead me the rest of the way, I just have to find my way to the bridge.

Why is opening myself up to people so hard? I've never known how closed up I was until a few years ago. I've never realized that the shyness I've always dealt with was put into affect with even people I know; people I love. Why can't I just tell them how I feel and listen to their advice?

I've got so much floating around my head at all times. If I could open up my brain, and let you see inside, it would look like a sky black with flies. Is it all of that jumbled mess that's keeping me from saying how I feel? Is it that it just takes me too long to pick out what I want to say? Maybe it's that I just second guess myself with every decision I make... I'm not sure. I wish I could figure it out though, because it would make life so much easier.

Until then though, I'll continue on with the 'ha's and 'yeah's, since that's all I seem to be able to ever contribute to conversations.

PS. I truly had forgotten how much I loved my grandma until tonight.

PSS. Damn you, dad. I know what you were up to when you hung up tonight >:.

PSSS. It was actually really predictable. Once she called I knew you had something to do with it. I think she tried to play it off like she didn't talk to you, but I know you.

PSSSS. You owe me one Neil Boshart. KTHNX.