It’s hard to write a depressing blog after your depression’s passed

I was upset today, because this asshole of a kid said the other day that no one liked me. I knew he was joking, but sometimes you can’t help but be bothered by things like that. Or, at least I can’t. So anyways, I felt like that today. All day, too, not just part of the day. I don’t know, I know I’m just making up things in my head, again. Stefanie said I was being silly, which I guess to a certain point I am. I know people like me. I don’t think people are that fake to the point where they would all pretend to be my friend. I don’t have anything to offer, so why would they?

Anyways, I’m over that now. I really need to pee though.

Lol wow, I just noticed that I correctly capitalized everything in this blog. I guess I’ve been writing so many stories and formal letters lately, that I’ve gotten back into the habit of doing so. Beep. Weird.

Sometimes

i wonder what it would be like to die. i imagine running into a tree at 70 mph. i think about accidentally going under water for too long. i envision myself running off a cliff, flying for a few seconds.

it sounds cynical, but it’s not. i’ve got no purpose for wanting to commit suicide, therefore i never would. i just think about it sometimes, and i think about how it would affect the people around me, how the people who were mean to me would react, how weird life would be for some without me. sometimes it helps to think about that. sometimes it just makes me upset to know that it’d be forgotten in a year.

life is never satisfying, is it?

sometimes i get in these really melodramatic moods

i know it’s happening, because i start questioning everyone around me, i start hating people in general, i feel like i have no one to turn to, i feel like i’m making an ass out of myself 24/7, i feel ugly, i think i have no chance ever to be with anyone, i pretty much give up on a lot of things.

good thing that mood only comes once a month.

not so good thing that i’m going through it right now and i just want to rip everyone’s heads off. “literally.” “literally?” “no, god, what’s the matter with you?”

JSAPGFJSDGPLJ;SDGJ;SLDJG;ALSDJG;LSJG depressed.